Jesus loves the church... and heals us when we hurt each other
How do we deal with the consequences of emotional wounds in church? A great number of people today say they love Jesus but ignore or even hate the church because it has been a context for harm, rather than for wholeness.
Catherine and I had this experience in the 1980s. The experimental house church we were part of became unhealthy and independent. But we also recognised we had contributed to this - we had been part of the inward looking journey which resulted in a simple home church becoming isolated and arrogant. Because it was a context where we had all invested so much of ourselves as well as time and money, it became painful when we had different ideas about how to move forward.
I hope that some of the things we learned then will be of help to others now.
First, we brought in help from outside - the Holy Spirit connected us with some people who were part of one of the apostolic teams flourishing at the time (we ‘happened’ to camp next to them at a Christian festival!). They listened well and prayed with us. They brought wise counsel and gently advised us how to handle the situation.
Second, we repented of our own part in being proud and arrogant. And we had to choose to forgive the people we felt had hurt us. That is a big one but Jesus was ever so clear in Matthew 6:15, “If you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive you!†It is not that God does not want to forgive, but if we refuse forgiveness to others we take ourselves out of His blessing and forgiveness.
Then, we asked God to heal the hurt … and He did. Our healing happened over time and a large part of it came from spending time sharing meals and praying with people in the healthy church we joined. We found people with whom we could build up an open and trusting friendship, based on mutuality.
When we and some others decided to join healthy churches the group that had become isolated ceased to meet. But that caused great hurt to those who had wanted the group to continue as it was. It was a painful season, but some years later we had the opportunity to start rebuilding relationships with the key people with whom fellowship had been broken. God is so committed to peacemaking and reconciliation and 20 years is nothing to Him!
Does it always have to be messy? The New Testament writers have a vision of church that is glorious and I will touch on this in the last blog in this series … Jesus loves the church - what will it be like?
- Chris Horton
Chris’ book ‘Belong’ - published in May 2024 - explores these themes and more.
Available from All Nations or Amazon (ISBN 1739098668 or 978-1739098667)
Weblink: Belong: Living in God's Family: Amazon.co.uk: Horton, Chris: 9781739098667: Books
Catherine and I had this experience in the 1980s. The experimental house church we were part of became unhealthy and independent. But we also recognised we had contributed to this - we had been part of the inward looking journey which resulted in a simple home church becoming isolated and arrogant. Because it was a context where we had all invested so much of ourselves as well as time and money, it became painful when we had different ideas about how to move forward.
I hope that some of the things we learned then will be of help to others now.
First, we brought in help from outside - the Holy Spirit connected us with some people who were part of one of the apostolic teams flourishing at the time (we ‘happened’ to camp next to them at a Christian festival!). They listened well and prayed with us. They brought wise counsel and gently advised us how to handle the situation.
Second, we repented of our own part in being proud and arrogant. And we had to choose to forgive the people we felt had hurt us. That is a big one but Jesus was ever so clear in Matthew 6:15, “If you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive you!†It is not that God does not want to forgive, but if we refuse forgiveness to others we take ourselves out of His blessing and forgiveness.
Then, we asked God to heal the hurt … and He did. Our healing happened over time and a large part of it came from spending time sharing meals and praying with people in the healthy church we joined. We found people with whom we could build up an open and trusting friendship, based on mutuality.
When we and some others decided to join healthy churches the group that had become isolated ceased to meet. But that caused great hurt to those who had wanted the group to continue as it was. It was a painful season, but some years later we had the opportunity to start rebuilding relationships with the key people with whom fellowship had been broken. God is so committed to peacemaking and reconciliation and 20 years is nothing to Him!
Does it always have to be messy? The New Testament writers have a vision of church that is glorious and I will touch on this in the last blog in this series … Jesus loves the church - what will it be like?
- Chris Horton
Chris’ book ‘Belong’ - published in May 2024 - explores these themes and more.
Available from All Nations or Amazon (ISBN 1739098668 or 978-1739098667)
Weblink: Belong: Living in God's Family: Amazon.co.uk: Horton, Chris: 9781739098667: Books
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